Tag Archives: grief

Day 14: Three Years Ago Today

The shooting at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in my hometown happened three years ago today. I’ve written and rewritten this post several times. I have so much to say and yet nothing seems right. I could tell you guys about my experiences making friends in Newtown that I treasure still in adulthood. I guess I could try to share how much this community’s support meant to my family when my mom died in 1998. I could speak to the heroics of teachers and the legacies of children.

Maybe what’s most appropriate is a moment of silence for the ones who died and those left behind. Silence for our terrible world with some good people in it.

newtown

Day 10: Love and Loss

It’s the 10th day of the #31dayblogchallenge and #throwbackthursday too. So I’ll send you guys to a guest post from February 2015. It was written by my teenage brother Jim. Here are his thoughts on love and loss, in his own words, “I Was Never Alone.”

Not Goodbye, See You Later Tama.

Cancer won over my friend Tama a few days ago. She was sick for a while before the doctors discovered it was stage four cancer… and then was gone so very quickly. She was a quilter, an artist, a writer and someone I never got to meet in person but knew through Facebook. It’s hard to say goodbye. But it’s not goodbye. See you later Tama.
Tama

I’m also saying, “See You Later,” to hosting a link-up party. I’ve discovered that I’m not quite ready to host one yet. I have more to learn first. So I’ll be participating in others’ parties for now and retiring Favorites Fridays.
no fav fridaysHere’s my completed table runner for the Project Quilting trees challenge. This piece started out happy and fun: Easter, Springtime, new growth. It still is those things but with another layer. It’s also something I worked on while thinking of Tama. I believe life doesn’t end here. I don’t what that might look like but it gives me some peace. Maybe Tama’s in the springtime of her life somewhere else. Maybe she’s a sprout growing and learning with many years ahead of her to continue her journey. green runner finishedMaybe she’ll have some things to show me when I get there. Maybe.green trees runner close

I’m linking this post up to Show and Tell Tuesday and Scraptastic Tuesday and Needle and Thread.

Favorites Friday: Katie, Fish, and Crumbs

favorites friday logoWelcome to my first Favorites Friday post. I’m hosting a link up party and invite you to write about some of your favorite things, people, memories, and projects. Share your blog’s URL in the party here:

http://new.inlinkz.com/luwpview.php?id=481499

One of my favorite things about writing regularly, like in this blog, is when it’s easy it’s good. Sometimes the story just leaps out of me onto the screen and before I know it I have a full post just waiting for photographs. Other times it’s the photographs that tell the story and need little explanation. I usually have at least a little bit to reword, remove, or rearrange in my first drafts before publishing. The best posts, however, rarely need it. They just come together in almost a magical way. I say exactly what needs to be said in exactly the way you need to hear it. Here are two of those posts from 2014.

Bad Quilt – It’s Not a Fish. This post tells of my grief journey and the art piece I made after having a miscarriage. not a fish whole

Home Grown Friends. This post is about time, friendship and a stubborn girl named Katie who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

katie wedding

 

Apparently, this just letting things out method works for video, too! This clip was shot in just one take. Ami Simms edited some images in but for the most part it was just five minutes at my sewing table.

Happy Favorites Friday! What are some of your favorite things? Share in the link-up below!

http://new.inlinkz.com/luprev.php?id=481499

Bad Ass Quilt – It’s Not a Fish

I’m the guest blogger today over at Bad Ass Quilter’s Society. Don’t be alarmed by the title over there. The naked quilting series is about quilts, not bodies. I wrote about my quilt, “It’s Not A Fish,” which was made after a miscarriage. Check that article out and then head back here for some bonus information.

not a fish whole

 

 

Children are often asked what they want to be when they grow up. My two answers, invariably, were an artist and a mommy. So, of course, this baby was wanted.

mom not fish

The two silhouettes in the last column were traced from family photographs. Mom is looking forward with hope and my cousin Jasmine is screaming.

jas not fish

The guild challenge was to make a row (or column) quilt. It had to use three floral fabrics and have at least five rows. Do you see the flowers? The fabric used for the fish is also floral.

fish flowers

This quilt told me that it needed to be mostly grey. (Does your art speak to you? This piece was very specific!) Since I only had one grey fabric in my stash, I reached out to friends who were generous with their scraps. Thanks guys.

I designed the paper-piece pattern for the hearts. They gradually go from mostly warm (browns) to mostly cold (greys) without completely becoming one temperature or the other.

pp hearts

 

On the day I lost my baby, I wanted absolute quiet. No activity or noise at all. Certainly no conversation. Later, talking would become important.

When I told my aunt what happened she suggested that I change my labels: a miscarriage, rather than my miscarriage. Words are important. It’s not my fault.

I started seeing a therapist a few weeks after miscarrying. It was one of the best things I could do, deciding actively focus on healing. Our sessions included dealing with the loss of my mom when I was 14.

What’s your experience with art? Creating is one of my healthiest ways to express loss. It’s also a delight to make things about connection and new beginnings.

 

 

 

25% off most items in my Etsy shop through the end of August. Enjoy!